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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why the government is important? It isn't, now have a landmine. -Ron Swanson"

"You like parachuting? That's messed up... you like the Paris Shooting!?"

"I added Michael J Fox as a friend on Instagram... He likes every single one of my photos."

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's probably too cheesy."

"Picture me and my boyfriend on a dinner date Wrong We're sitting on the same side of the table making you uncomfortable"

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time."

"Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided... ...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand."

"Your girlfriend should never be jealous of another woman. Instead, you should do your best to make other women jealous of her."

"DVDs died beacuse of Torrents. Hence, DVD Rip."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his wife? Wipes his ass."