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Joke of the Day

"There once was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... He is now a seasoned veteran."

"Judge: Your charge is burning down your neighbors house Me: Your Honor they hung baskets of plastic flowers on their porch! J: Not Guilty!"

"Aerosmith According to fellow band members, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady."

"There's no wrong answer until you answer differently than me."

"Why do historians believe all nazis were women? They all had blood on their hands. Credit of the joke goes to James of FunHaus"

"Princess: U alone? Luigi: Ya. Mario lookin 4 u underwater. P: lol. wut? L: ya idk. meet up? P: sure. go-karts L: k i'll bring bananas"

"Why is a duck-billed platypus called a duck-billed platypus? Because fucked up duck-beaver lookin thing doesn't sound scientific enough."

"if evolution isnt real then sombody please explain how my couch has ""evolved"" to fit the shape of my butte"

"Q: Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? A: They called it the herd shot 'round the world."

"When I was a kid, I would launch Hamsters and other small rodents in my model rockets. I called it the Gerbil Space Program."