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Joke of the Day

"If your father is a Priest, could you call him Father dad? Shit thought, shit joke."

"*points at houseplant* no, YOU have a drinking problem!!"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking...... JK Rowling"

"Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way."

"I lost the 120 lbs that were weighing me down really fast with one simple trick Divorce."

"These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?"

"A girl in a car gets pulled over, Girl: I thought you don't give tickets to pretty women? Cop: that's right we don't. Now sign here."

"Putting a woman on a $10 makes sense . . . . . . no one really wants a 1 or a 5. (As heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)"

"Why can't Ken get Barbie pregnant? He cums in another box"

"Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he's going to the clinic for a 'work related' injury."