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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I Get in Trouble My Back Hurts I guess I have scold-iosis"

"I dig, you dig, we dig. I dig, You dig, We dig, We dig, She dig, They dig. The poem may not be very beautiful, but at least it's deep."

"I will probably never be the tallest person in the room, but I will certainly be the highest"

"I hate when someone calls me arrogant. Especially when they're clearly beneath me."

"I'm beginning to think that Judas Priest might not be a Christian rock band."

"My doctor told me to refrain from heavy lifting. So now I can't masturbate."

"Beef farmers in Washington are fighting to protect their cattle, whose water supply has been tainted with THC from the marijiana industry The steaks have never been higher"

"If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, ""DID YOU WRITE THIS?"""

"My wife said she wanted to die naturally. So I shot her and she died, naturally."

"What comes after sextillion? Babytillion! (Creds: my math professor who has her doctorate in mathematics)"