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Joke of the Day

"I stretch daily to squeeze the demons out of my blood. It's the only way I know how to exorcise."

"Why was the French chef sent to prison? He was convicted of crepe."

"How do you make an idiot think he's a duck? Tell him he's a duck."

"The only thing i understood from Interstellar [spoiler] that the fifth dimension is a FUCKING BOOK CASE"

"Are you a homeless horse? Because you look unstable."

"Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken."

"Umm Adele, have you tried texting?"

"A job interview. What's your worst quality? Honesty. Well, i don't think that honesty is a bad quality.. I don't give a fuck what you think."

"If you live in Russia... .. then you must've picked ""HARD MODE"" at birth."

"Why do you put a fence around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!"