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Joke of the Day

"Guy brings a giraffe into a bar... The giraffe passes out on the floor and the bartender says ""hey, you cant leave that lyin there."" The guy says ""it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."""

"How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing? They look in the obituary"

"A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info she asked ""Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"""

"About yesterdays Alabama vs. Auburn game... I feel bad for all the Alabama fans who drove their houses to the game yesterday."

"What do they call a rant in Australia? A Fuck-filled Platitude"

"Gay marriage is legal in 6 states. Having sex with a horse is legal in 23. Good going, America."

"What did the pastry from Denmark say to the pastry from Norway? Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk."

"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers"

"How much did the Holocaust? Not enough Jews."

"*writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds ""resume"" to resume"