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Joke of the Day

"About yesterdays Alabama vs. Auburn game... I feel bad for all the Alabama fans who drove their houses to the game yesterday."

"[Michael Bay directing] ""WE NEED A HOTTER CHICK"" Teacher: This is your son's 3rd grade play ""Oh right. I forgot. WE NEED BIGGER EXPLOSIONS"""

"funny Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It's too far to walk."

"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."

"It's so cold... I saw a gangsta pulling up his pants"

"I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day.. Or you can just take the whole thing."

"It's not the most beautiful poem, but it's pretty deep I dig you dig he digs she digs we dig"

"For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."

"Why are they called overalls when you can still see arms and the head? That shit ain't over all. Those are oversomes and whatnot."

"When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber."