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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my peanut butter... ...brown, smooth, and easy to spread. Props to Shakes the Clown."

"Why do black people never sleep? Because the last one who had a dream got shot"

"I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, if I die next Thursday"

"Me: That does it! [bangs on upstairs neighbor's door] [Elephant on a pogo stick answers] Sup? Am I being too loud?"

"My friend had his assignment on plagiarism stolen so he copied mine. He then proceeded to take a course on Nihilism but it ended up not having a meaningful impact on his transcript."

"Great slogan for an abortion clinic... No Fetus Will Beat Us!"

"Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you dont know the man & he doesnt know youre eating his popcorn"

"""HEY, WHERE'S THAT BOOK?!"" (Dewey Decibel System)"

"When you cook duck you should always add a little bit of goose It makes a game out of every bite."

"A son runs up to his dad Son: Dad, I'm gay! Dad: Son, I fucked your mother. Son: ... Dad: ... Son: What the fuck? Dad: What? I thought we were saying things that were obvious."