146146

Joke of the Day

"Listen. You've been saying this for the last eight and a half months. I still don't know what you're ""expecting"""

"Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account."

"At least my mother died doing what she loved... Committing suicide"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. That's a man's job."

"[Works when you say it]. The best part about having sex with 28 year olds is that there's 20 of them"

"[killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says ""Who goes there"" ME: Ok laugh it up"

"Since I started dating my girlfriend a year ago I became a millionaire! 6 months ago I was a billionaire :("

"I just googled ""Tramp"" instead of ""Trump"" by mistake. I still got the information I needed."

"A baby mouse is out for a walk one day and sees a bat... He quickly runs home to his mother and says ""Mummy! Mummy! I just saw an angel!"""

"Joke from my jazz history class: You are stuck on an island with Hitler, Stalin, and Kenny G. You have a gun, but you only have two bullets. What do you do? You shoot Kenny G. Twice."