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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!"

"When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns into a driveway."

"This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness! That's scary! It means 75% are running around untreated!"

"On a scale of 1 to 10 you can't even weigh yourself unless you are an infant or leprechaun or something."

"In America, you support the government In Soviet Russia, the government supports you!"

"The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you."

"""I'm all up for sex with handcuffs..."" ""...I just think a little warning would have been nice, Officer."""

"The three American Marines that helped thwart the Terrorist Attack in France did something than no Frenchman ever has. Received Frances Highest Honor..."

"Have you watched the movie about polynomials? I heard the *f(x)* were great!"

"I've found that whenever God closes a door, Satan hands me a lockpick."