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Joke of the Day

"It's best not to piss off someone with Multiple Personalities You never know how many enemies you're making"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear a seatbelt."

"Why was Twelve running from Seven? Because Seven had a fucking rocket launcher!"

"[interview with girl at dating agency] i get shy around pretty girls [girl smiles brushing hair from her face] ""are you shy now"" not really"

"What's your favorite racial (but not racist) joke? How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian!"

"Sorry I got kicked out of the auditorium for yelling GET A TOMB YOU TWO during your little brother's 9th grade production of Romeo & Juliet."

"Never kiss a Canary. You'll get churpies! (It's a Canarial disease)."

"Where do people send crazy cigarettes? To the menthol institution"

"How Do You Make a Plumber Cry Kill his Family."

"Why are Boy Scouts such great murderers? Because they leave no trace."