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Joke of the Day

"I went to visit my grandfather in the hospital, but it was too late... He was already gone. His suffering is over now. He's gone home. He's doing much better, so the hospital discharged him!"

"A man holding a large block of asphalt walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, ""A beer for me, and one for the road."""

"What's the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff."

"Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper ""get out of me"" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden."

"It smells like up-dog in here."

"If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?"

"ppl: are u sick? me: no, im just ugly"

"Two fish were in a tank... One says to the other: you shoot, I'll drive"

"Men who enjoy making their girlfriends jealous, good luck dealing with the crazy psycho you created."

"If we start referring to the oil spill as a ""petrol spill"" it sounds like an indie rock band and we can all just do drugs and chill."