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Joke of the Day

"There are 3 types of pain... 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!"

"Women always say they want security... When I'm around."

"My friend got a job fastening metal plates together. He hates it. He says it's not fun or interesting, which I dont understand. I think his job is riveting."

"Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good."

"Me: ""My elbow hurts."" WebMD: ""Elbow cancer."""

"Life's a bitch, 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy."

"We had a proper, serious, grown-up discussion about pornography recently, and my girlfriend said, ""I don't get porn. Why would I want to watch to people have sex?"" I said, ""Two? People?"""

"I asked one of my friends how his sex life is going. His response: ""I'm holding my own""."

"Do you know what makes darks better than whites? Not dropping all your fucking socks"

"R niggers 2 gay 4 u? How many jews can you fit in a volswagnon? 2 in the front,2 in the bak, and none in the ashtray because the holocaust didn't happen,"