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Joke of the Day

"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? Some might call it too cocky..."

"What's the difference between a greyhound bus station and a lobster wearing a bra? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean! Edit: HAHahHAHA OMFG I'm the epitome of hilarity"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will be a pizza history. Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!"

"Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says to the other, ""Oh boy, it sure is hot in here!"" The other says, **""OH MY GOSH IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN""**"

"Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you"

"Why isn't there a Jared's for boys? Oh wait, there is."

"Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip? I think everyone in this bank just saw my face."

"Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi."

"My wife said ""why do you always treat me like a cunt?"" I didn't know what to say, so I just put 2 fingers in her mouth and licked her nose."

"Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks."