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Joke of the Day

"In light of the recent NASA news.... Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in a piece of gum? No? Well he got stuck in Orbit."

"yeah well i hope you go to put your hair in a ponytail but the hair tie is too loose to hold it & not big enough to tie it another time"

"My bf just asked me ""what do you call it when you get water sprayed up your butt to clean it, again?"" Me ""...foreplay"""

"*dumps more fleas on my head* *sits back down in front of chimpanzee* So, anyway, like I was saying..."

"Why people don't offer chair to Sean Connery when he comes? Because he shits on it."

"I'm participating in some vintage ploughing this weekend I'm visiting the local retirement home"

"I missed the first day of Fight Club But the second day was really enjoyable, I would recommend it."

"Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager."

"Plot twist Standing next to my stalkers bed watching him sleep"

"""Why does stuff like this always happen to me?"" - gay passenger on Titanic"