145371

Joke of the Day

"I write a lot of racist jokes, but, don't get me wrong, I'm not a Republican."

"You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard."

"When I'm bored I like to call in sick to places I don't work for. I'm getting written up at Home Depot"

"My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral."

"THE HONEST LAWYER When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth? When his lips are shut."

"Picking up a tiny piece of paper off the carpet would probably only take me one second... But for some reason I'd rather vacuum over it 100 times, at different angles..."

"What's the worst thing about being Thai? Everyone automatically assumes you have a small dick, even though you're a female."

"Baltimore's chief export seems to be artisanal crime narrative."

"I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian"

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well"