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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Pakistani music group? A tali-band."

"The teacher asked Johnny, ""Why is your cat at school today Johnny?"" Johnny replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school today!'"""

"I stopped by the house I spent my childhood in, and I politely asked the owners if I could look around. They said no and slammed the door in my face My parents can be so fucking rude sometimes."

"Why do Indians get cremated at very religious places? Because they all have a ""Vera Nice Sea"". (Say it out loud)"

"Instagram is the most pleasant social media site because it's really difficult to take ignorant, racist pictures of dogs & brunch"

"ISIS ""Preventing the theft of unattended baggage since 1989"""

"Shout out to my sweatpants for loving me through thick and thicker."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aries ! Aries who ? Aries a reason why I talk this way !"

"I was in work the other day when a stunning Thai girl walked in. She was gorgeous. all I could think was 'don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner.' She *did*."

"Why do you put a fence around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!"