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Joke of the Day

"[Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]"

"What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car :P"

"I was just looking in the mirror this morning, thinking about who I was. I suppose you could say I was reflecting."

"Did you hear the news about the failed plan to send ISIS a shipment of deactivated bomb vests? People are surprised it's blowing up."

"I just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out all the pages are blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"What do you call a redditor in the restroom? A shitposter."

"You know what they say about a man with average sized feet. It's really easy to find shoes for him."

"Capitalization... Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"If I was a hot chick. I'd open my legs so wide I'd be able to fit all four of my Ferraris in my snatch."

"You know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"