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Joke of the Day

"Learn how to Wiener Boop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exb1yVD8SHU&list=UUq54nlcoX-0pLcN5RhxHyug"

"Did you hear about the pessimistic German vegetarian? He feared the wurst"

"No one on Twitter ever quotes me properly. I'm so mis-tweeted."

"Tower: Mission triple-three do you have problems? Pilot: I think I have lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying you lost the whole instrument panel.."

"I just bought some presents for my epileptic girlfriend's birthday Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy."

"What is a short punchy statement? Boxing Midgets."

"Where do nieces and nephews come from? Aunt holes"

"*cop pulls me over* Cop:Had a bit to drink tonight? Me:What makes you think I've been drinking? *cop leans over and turns off lawnmower*"

"What is the difference between a feminist and a walrus? A walrus has at least two valid points."

"What did Peter Pan say during the plane crash? ""It looks like we're going to Neverland."""