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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries. Me: *goes home* *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box* *eats 12 donuts*"

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"Can I borrow your G-String? Mine broke... said one guitarist to the other"
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"I only have one cardinal rule... Never feed them past 9, because if you do they'll be up and chirping all night"
"Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was going to... Al's Toybarn!"