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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries. Me: *goes home* *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box* *eats 12 donuts*"

"At jury duty they said, ""You do not have to be fluent in English."" So what you're supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent."

"The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute."

"King Midas doesn't like baths He likes golden showers."

"People who crave food for thought don't understand how food works."

"Why did the numbers 25, 36, and 49 go to the dentist? For a square root canal"

"A good way to force people to feel whatever you're feeling is to hum in public"

"My trainer said with enough sacrificing I could get a 6-pack. He's full of shit & I have 4 dead goats & 17 decapitated chickens to prove it."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick Question! Feminists can't change anything."

"1912 called. They want their boring ass concept of a parade back."