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Joke of the Day

"What's the last thing you want to hear when you're getting a blowjob from Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""

"HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...a raise? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to report a hacking!"

"Two birds flying through the air... Flugen zwei Vogel durch die Luft. Sagt eine zum anderen, ""Vorsicht"" da kommt ein Hub-schrau-schrau-schrrau"

"Looking back on Britain's 2016. The year most middle aged men went from wanting to fuck Nigella to wanting to fuck Nigel up."

"A liar, a cheat, and a bigot walked into a bar... ""Let's make America great again!"" he said."

"The stock market is astrology for people who think they're too good for astrology."

"Why would you wrap a hamster in duct tape? So it doesn't explode when you're fucking it."

"How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts? Quid each."

"I found ISIS's website... It's the bomb dot com!"

"How much does a dead elephant weigh? A skele**ton**."