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Joke of the Day

"How do you get an r/jokes redditor confused? loading..."

"I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them."

"What do old people often do? Die"

"What does Edgar Allen Poe call his women? Edgar Allen's......bitches!!!"

"But is that likely? Whaaat __ You don't know Lee? Pleasant chap, though he doesn't fancy being compared to a butt."

"Why was Jimmy sad? Cause Jimmy had a frog stapled to his face."

"My career is in ruins. It's fucking great being an archaeologist."

"In honor of Columbus Day I'm going to drive around until I get lost then make myself at home in the first clearly inhabited house I find"

"I don't know where I stand on abortion. I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice."

"Skrillex! It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Skrillex! Know that sound you've been looking for? I think I found it! *holds phone up to blender*"