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Joke of the Day

"Serious top linked post on /r/science made me laugh: ""Giant methane storms on Uranus"" Original link: http://phys.org/news/2015-03-giant-methane-storms-uranus.html"

"Why did the clock phone the ruler? Because desperate times call for desperate measures...."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian tells him... ""Fuck off you won't bring it back"""

"Q: Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she'll let it go!"

"If you've never seen Bear Grylls before... Urine for a treat"

"I said ""Margarita"" 3 times in the mirror instead of ""Bloody Mary"" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them."

"I once dated a midget... I was nuts over her"

"What is the best city to stream a movie? Buffa lo"

"Do you know why all the girls are quiet in the sauna? They are sitting on their lips!"

"She was only a whiskey maker... ...but he loved her still."