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Joke of the Day

"How about some snappy one-liners? Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it."

"Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up. They'd be strong alloys."

"Which is the smartest tall mountain? Mt. Cleverest Hue hue"

"Why do orphans like tennis? Only place they can get love"

"Run over by a Limo My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."

"Technically, a bus driver is anyone who drives a bus, Officer."

"Emotions don't scare me. People who manage to hide theirs completely, do."

"What do you call a grocery store for people with dementia? Question Mart."

"Job interviewer: ""Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"" Me: ""It's a secret."" Job interviewer: ""You got the job."""

"If ""Bieber fever"" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once."