145020

Joke of the Day

"How about some snappy one-liners? Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it."

"What do you call a bouncer at a.. What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flame thrower."

"I've got a friend who is a structural engineer. He's always complaining about stress at work. EDIT: damn I wish I got karma for this post."

"Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff? She had mittens on."

"When my son loses his 1st tooth, Im putting $1 under his pillow and a note that says ""I'll be back with a hammer for the rest. -Tooth Fairy"""

"What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on Ant? Nothing, Pink Panther doesn't talk!"

"Best pick up line ever (video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCw5XThfsI"

"Just stirred my coffee with a fork if any of you guys are looking for a new bad boy to join your crew."

"Trying anal is like Washing dry hands with wet soap... ...it doesn't feel the same, but its getting the same job done..."

"""Well boy,"" I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, ""naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."""