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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a priest and a beard One comes on your face before your 13."

"I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'"

"George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters. (If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)"

"PRO TIP: Stall your execution by asking if the lethal injection chemicals are gluten-free."

"How about a superhero whose power is TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS *high-fives Maury audience while Batman storms off*"

"I like my women like I like my cars Fast, loud, and used. Off craigslist."

"During the opening Olympic ceremony I thought the Chinese uniforms looked pretty good!....And the ones worn by the Chinese team weren't too bad either!!!"

"I pulled my groin the other day.. .. It felt so good, I pulled it one more time."

"Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say? Husband: He asked if the coast was clear..."

"Hey, insurance companies instead of having a commercial on TV every 10 minutes can you just cover some of my medical bills?"