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Joke of the Day

"Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual."

"Helmholtz Resonators made out of Lampshades, Company name is Silence of the Lamps"

"I used to be embarrassed by my facial hair, but it grew on me."

"If you were stressed out yesterday Does that make you past tense?"

"What is the best pick up line at a gay bar? ""Hello, can I push your stool in for you?"""

"All alcohol will make my clothes fall off... tequila just makes that happen in public."

"What comes after 69? A funeral"

"What's Ellen Pao's husband's favourite web plugin? Ponzi Buddy."

"I think the sun shouldn't come up until at least noon on Saturdays."

"Apparently the Bin Laden plane hit a Porsche, it's 911 all over again."