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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""So why should we hire you?"" Me: ""Cause I need a job very badly."" Interviewer: ""So?"" Me: ""And you have a vacancy. BINGO"""

"""Is this seat Taken?"" - Guy who confuses Liam Neeson movies with a chair."

"Damn Jared Back at it again with the white vans!"

"I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... lightly roasted for that full bodied flavor."

"My terrible Joke but I never forget it. A dyslexic man walked into a bra...."

"Why are Mens bathrooms usually to the left? Because women are right."

"If you can't walk into your walk in closet, you might just live with your girlfriend."

"My wife was acting crazy recently. Now I have to remove her blood from the carpet. Her menstrual blood."

"""will..."" *Starbucks barista squints at name on cup* ""... the Red Slime Shoddy please stand up?"" *Eminem flips table and storms out*"