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Joke of the Day

"The only way to open a pack of toilet paper is to fingerblast a hole through the plastic in one of the roll hollows."

"Pots and pans set: $70. Wrapping paper: $5. Tape: $3. Watching your mother unbox and attempt to wrap said pots and pans: priceless."

"All i'm saying is, before Back to the Future 3, he was fine."

"What's the most common owl in Britain? The tea towel"

"You guys know why I don't drink fancy coffees? cos they cost a latte."

"Geography joke from my son Him: What's the capitol of Switzerland? Me: Ummm, Geneva? Him: Nope!.... BERN!!!!"

"Dolphins don't do anything by accident.. Always on porpoise."

"A slutty egg walks into a bar. Everyone starts laughing at her. ""I don't get it. What's so funny?"" she demands. The bartender says, ""Well, the yoke's on you."""

"What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty? Mutton Looter King"

"My Zombie Friend was getting fat. So his doctor put him on a diet. It was a no-brainer."