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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a dancer and a duck? One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs."

"I'm sorry previews, but ""best movie of the year"" means nothing to me on January 18th."

"If you're gonna take the high road,wear a skirt. I need something to look at from the low road."

"How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same? They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes."

"Two blondes talking to each other... One asks the other, ""Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?"" The other blonde says, ""Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."""

"Why did the girlfriend of a guy trying to pay down $20K in debt leave him? No eating out."

"I lost 5 followers after tweeting my non-concern for owls. I must stop being so politically controversial."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard? The Stones say ""hey you get off of my cloud!"" The Shepard says ""hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"""

"What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner? Freud rice."

"""It's definitely better without a condom"" I say, removing it from my soup"