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Joke of the Day

"On the one hand, I want to exercise and take care of myself. On the other hand, it's just more years of living on a planet full of morons."

"What did one casket say to the other casket? Is that you coffin?"

"As soon as the inauguration is over, I'm getting a position on Trump's ethics committee. I'm not political, I just need some quite time alone."

"*Sees ant carrying a leaf that weighs 3x its body weight* Wife: Can you imagine being that strong? Me: *Picking up leaf* Yes."

"Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you."

"Fun Fact If your parents never had children, chances are that neither will you."

"God: make alcohol really fun Angel: haha ok God: but it makes them stupid Angel: i dont know if- God: and if they have too much they die"

"What's the difference between karate and judo? Karate is self defense and you make bagels with judo (Jew dough)."

"Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"

"When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ? :D"