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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want to go like my grandpa..... Peacefully in my sleep, unlike them whinny kids screaming as the bus went off the cliff."

Next Joke
 
"Hillary Clinton sucks! No she doesn't, because if she did Bill wouldn't have Monica."
"If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart"
"My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian, it's like I've never seen herbivore!"
"I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester... When a girl rates me out of 10"
"Q: Why do businessmen carry umbrellas? A: Because umbrellas can't walk."
"why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? to get to the bottom!"
"How do you tell if a man is gay? When you're fucking him in the ass, reach around; if he has a boner... He's gay"
"If Jessica Simpson doesn't name one of her kids ""Homer"", then seriously what's the point?"
"DAEEM GURRL . . . you must be suicidal thoughts, cause you've been running through my mind all day. - Jim Hamilton"