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Joke of the Day
"On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, I'm at Mel Gibson drunk right now."
Next Joke
"If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit ""end"" on a call, I would have no friends."
"And I don't want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn't cold, save it for the elves, Santa"
"Something tells me a handjob from Superman would be.... ...a ripoff"
"What does a ticket to the 50 Cent concert featuring Nickleback cost? $300 if you ask Ticketmaster"
"I eat those silica gel packets because consumer electronics are not the boss of me."
"What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit? When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is ""eeeeuuuuuuu"""
"What did the bull-fighter say to the upset door? What's the matador?"
"My wife has the body of a 16 year old schoolgirl... She keeps it in the fridge."
"Today's Generation ""omg my parents never let me have anything."" via iPhone"