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Joke of the Day

"The key to comedy? Perfect del ivery"

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Technically I pulled myself over, you only asked C: I know, right? They make us say it like that"

"""Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?"" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. ""I don't work here"" I yelled back."

"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"You know they say 25% of women are medicated for being ""crazy"".. That means the other 75% is running around un-medicated."

"Why are people who work in IT amazing at relationships and sex? When there is a problem they just turn them off and back on"

"*Shocking News*: Critics Say Kindergartner's Homework ""Doesn't Add Up"""

"the reason we're moving is because it's haunted. we probably wouldn't mind a normal ghost but this guy died while quoting Borat was popular"

"Three beans travelled around Australia together, where was their final destination? In Cairns."

"I like to start every morning with a good fuck. Oh fuck...it's time to get up."