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Joke of the Day
"Why we don't give food to cannibals.. ..because they know how to feed for themselves."
Next Joke
"A friend just texted me & asked for relationship advice. That's like asking the pope to name all the members of Slipknot."
"Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer? Because they heard he's a web developer"
"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would to if ur name was arrghhvjvjvkkrhvy"
"So I went to the doctor for my annual prostate exam today.... I asked the doctor ""Where I should put my pants?"" He replied ""Over there next to mine."""
"I wear a cape because I'm Super Broke"
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Poison the fish, he'll eat for a lifetime."
"911 The American police have said they will never forget 9/11. Pretty hard too, I would think, considering it's your phone number!"
"The final season of Jersey Shore will feature all your favorite characters - The Situation, Snooki, the Department of Child Services. . ."
"6yo Son: Dad, why'd you spray cologne down there when you got outta the shower? Me: How's ice cream for dinner sound?"