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Joke of the Day
"If it wasn't for the 140 character limit, I'd be on Chapter 27 of my first tweet right now."
Next Joke
"Why did the Bear dissolve in water? He was polar"
"One time someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?"
"When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them."
"Women are like, ""no I'm not mad"" *sets your car on fire* Nope not mad"
"How many Super Sayains does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!"
"Being nice to people who don't deserve it is exhausting, but the feeling at the end of the day, when you're not in jail for murder, is nice."
"I don't have bad posture, my body's just sad."
"I just got married today It's unreal. I can still remember the the exact moment when every woman in the world became instantly more attractive."
"An asian man goes to the eye doctor... Doctor: ""Sir you have cataracts."" Asian man: ""No I drive a honda."""