127509

Joke of the Day

"Happy Father's Day! You motherfuckers are alright!"

"What's a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring."

"I wish labor day was 9 months after spring break"

"I see fewer cats on my front page. I've been told that Curiosity killed them."

"What happened to the concussed gravedigger? He lost the plot."

"What's another name for a prosthetic patella? Faux-knee"

"I don't understand why everyone is mad at Lance Armstrong... Like I give him props... Have you ever tried biking before on drugs? It's fucking hard."

"High school kids, these awful years are going to end up being the best years of your life. That's how much everything else sucks."

"Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"Dating Tips 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs."