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Joke of the Day

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Same time next month?"

"What's the American settler's spirit animal? The groundhog."

"What is the difference between a cop and a box of chocolates? Nothing. They'll both kill your dog."

"COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal. ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave? COP:...and for this weed ME: That's Dave's"

"What's the difference between a diaper and a politician? When a diaper is full of shit, it gets discarded. When a politician is full of shit, it runs for president."

"So, you know how they put that magic hat on Frosty and it makes him talk? I wonder if there's one that works in reverse, but for children."

"Ive noticed that black people love boomboxes Im not racist or anything, its just their stereotype"

"What do you call a pickle sandwich that's a scientist? Dill Rye"

"The goldfish just gave me the ""just flush me"" look. No way pal. If I have to stay so do you."

"Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach."