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Joke of the Day

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like shit until you have something someone else needs"

"*Obama approaches podium* Fellow Americans, I like cookies with raisins in them *press starts booing* They're good & healthy *Michelle nods*"

"A blind man walks into a bar And a table. And a chair."

"What does the interrupting cow say? HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text"

"You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."

"Reposted Joke Same punchline as the one before"

"Excuse me, you with the heels that make your calves perfect, designer dress that accentuates your curves.... You have lettuce in your teeth"

"Having a beard makes it easier to hatch a scheme, but it's getting harder and harder to play on a public swing set by myself."

"I don't always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment."

"Did you hear Charlie Sheen has HIV? He thinks he got it after sleeping with two and a half men."