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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry we fought. I hate it when you're wrong."

"When I was at the diner tonight my waitress had a black eye. When I ordered I ordered real slow because apparently she don't listen so good."

"Did you hear what that guy said to the Reddit moderator the other day? **[Deleted]**"

"In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man."

"What does a cow call his girlfriend? His significant udder."

"As I was checking into the hotel I asked, 'Is the porn channel disabled?' The girl at the desk said, 'No, you sick bastard'."

"5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him."

"What does the Mexican gang member say to the 15 page document? Hey, *essay*!"

"She died doing what she loved: driving while taking a photo of a license plate that had 69 in it"

"What do you call a pirate from Ireland?? Arrrish"