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Joke of the Day

"Why is ship tapered Why is shit tapered? So you're asshole doesn't slam shut. (I was watching my dog take a dump yesterday and this old joke came to mind)"

"What does Joe Pesci order at Burger King? An angry wopper."

"What do you call a horse getting carried away with a magic marker? A zebra."

"Something only a guitarist can say I broke a g-string fingering A minor."

"I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream"

"What do you call chickpeas cooked in a waffle iron? Fawaffle!"

"What does Michael Jackson and Santa Clause have in common? They both like to come down your shoot."

"I ate a vegetable... And she liked it so much she woke up."

"What do little miss muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have curds in their whey."

"We have a ghost. Came home and found the fridge magnets rearranged: ""I see dreadful people."""