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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor recently.. * Doctor: Do you play any sports? * Me: Does sex count? * Doctor: Yes * Me: Then no."

"Please, Lady, come home with me. You never know what I'll turn into, at midnight!"

"This guy with premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere."

"April Fools Day is ONLY for singles. The married have their anniversary ."

"Do you remember those old romantic movies where the guy would lay his coat down in a puddle for the woman? WALK AROUND THE FUCKING PUDDLE."

"A cannibal and her daughter are eating dinner... ""Mommy! Mommy! I don't like daddy!"" ""Just eat your salad dear."""

"A man walks into a bar and says, ""David Foster Wallace was not the greatest writer to ever live."" ."

"Why are there so many dogs at the pound? Because no one wants them."

"Someone stole my mood ring. I really don't know how I feel about this."

"My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory."