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Joke of the Day

"So a piece of bacon and a biscuit walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Sorry but we don't serve breakfast here"""

"My sister said she won't let me see her kids because I'm a sex offender! Who would keep a father from their own kids?"

"I've been Nominated for Facebook's New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2013!.......In other news I lost my job, my wife, car, and all contact with the outside World!!!"

"I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures."

"I was thinking about making an elm tree joke.. But it's acorny one."

"Finish this joke, ""I am Christian and I believe in science. In fact, I studied Physics at a Catholic University."" So far I have, ""Physics at a Catholic University? That's like studying... at a ..."""

"What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?"

"Jared Fogle likes his subs the way he likes his women... 6 to 12"

"What did one rock say to the other? Ha, you really think rocks can talk?"

"Hi, I'm a German and I'm getting really offended by these Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He was stabbed by a Jewish crip he was trying to rape"