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Joke of the Day

"What do the alphabet A and a flower have in common? B comes after both."

"If there's one good thing about the election of Trump, it's the greatly lowered odds of being attacked by Russia. After all, they're not going to key their own car."

"Just once can we make someone regret inviting 10,000 people to their Facebook event."

"Q: Why did Mitt Romney feed his cows money? A: He wanted rich milk."

"What's the difference between sex and a slice of pizza? It takes me longer to eat the pizza"

"Me: *mouths I love you* Him: M: *blows kiss* H: M: *adjusts my pajama top* H: *empties the can & hops onto the side of the garbage truck*"

"Caught my dog chewing on my law books this morning. Now he is Pro Bono."

"I mentioned to my friend Hanz that today's the anniversary of the world trade center attacks. ""Nein, 11"" he said."

"I heard diaria is hereditary It runs through your jeans"

"I take offense to this subreddit... ...and use it to keep the animals out."