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Joke of the Day

"Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centred lives already in progress."

"How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes? You pull down their genes."

"You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring."

"I buy every comic book I see. . . My friends say I have lots of issues."

"What is a Jewish person's favorite job? A lox-smith"

"The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked."

"The first thing I'm doing with my time machine is telling my past self to only microwave popcorn for 2 minutes max."

"A boss is like a customer in a restaurant. He wants the best food to be served. But when it comes to cooking his own food, he can even eat his own shit."

"One good thing about premature ejaculation is that porn lasts you a very long time. I bought a video back in 1992 and I still haven't made it past the FBI warning thing."

"I got amnesia and dont know if im gay anymore... I faggot"