143300

Joke of the Day

"Yo Mama... Yo mama so old and so fat that when she sat down, they called it the Cambrian mass extinction."

"Whenever I use a racist stereotype, it's blown out of proportion. Just like all the Muslims in the world."

"TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration."

"Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!"

"My impression of a New Zealand duck: Quick... Quick. Quick."

"HOW MANY BABIES DOES IT TAKE TO PAINT A WALL? Well, since 1 baby could paint 0 walls, it would take infinite babies to paint a wall."

"What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg! *^^Joke ^^I ^^found ^^in ^^the ^^Tokyo ^^Ghoul ^^tag ^^on ^^Tumblr, ^^my ^^brother ^^loves ^^this ^^one!*"

"""Daddy, I-"" *presses button for soundproof backseat divider Wife: ""HOW MUCH DID-"" *presses button for soundproof passenger seat divider"

"I name photos of me stroking animals in files called ""Fireworks and big dogs.jpg"" so my cats won't find them on my computer."

"What do you call a pirate cartoon? An animatee!"