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Joke of the Day
"Hotel coffee is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water."
Next Joke
"One of life's great pleasures is to watch two idiots agree on something and then hear one of them say ""Great minds think alike""."
"My rock band got a gig at the baseball game. I played first bass."
"All through their lives, guys are called either ""young man"" or ""old man."" I guess they cut out the middle man."
"NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs..."
"Im at the swamp does anyone need anything"
"If you were a tree you'd be a bonsai, and if you were mine you'd be dead by now."
"""We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack,"" I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available"
"Where the most likely place to find a crack whore? Between a rock and a hard place."
"4th of July is the one day if the year I willingly sit outside all day."