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Joke of the Day

"You're supposed to exercise so that you can live longer but if you have to exercise all the time do you really want to live longer?"

"What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion? Teargas"

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"Jared Fogle's career ending the same way it started.... Trying to get into smaller pants"

"For my birthday, I got a Rolex from my lesbian neighbor. I think she misunderstood me when I told her I wanna watch."

"Why does my computer keep saying hello? It's a Dell."

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hangout. It just says I can't get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"

"How to clickbait"

"Accidentally bring the wrong kid home on Halloween once and now I have to listen to the same stupid story EVERY year."

"Why was the frog down in the mouth ? He was un hoppy !"