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Joke of the Day

"listen here best buy employee, the constitution says I'm entitled to the pursuit of happiness, so i am taking this will smith dvd ok?"

"When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me."

"Did you hear about the teacher who had eye problems? She couldn't control her pupils."

"Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire - this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*"

"So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song."

"I'm bringing sexy back. Apparently there was a misunderstanding and I never should have been allowed to purchase it in the first place."

"Why has Ten been flirting with Seven? Because she heard that Seven eight Nine's pussy."

"Why should you never let a squirrel give you a blow job? Cause beastiality is wrong."

"""Someone called me a butterface today! Is that bad?"" ""Well it's *half* a compliment."""

"The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend 10/10"