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Joke of the Day

"""the names bond, james bond"" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple"

"This guy gave me a free copy of his book today. An actual printed copy! I had no idea they were still doing this kind of thing. It's fancy."

"A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""How's it going, Donald?"""

"Perms are just rad skateparks for lice."

"As a mom of 18 & 20 year olds: save while your kids are young, then at graduation, buy yourself a new car & send them to community college."

"Fun prank: brand your boss with the mark of the beast so he becomes a mindless demon slave wandering the earth killing in the name of Satan"

"I was approached on the street the other day by a young escort. Couldn't have been older than 13. I was absolutely appalled... ...by her prices. Way more than I usually pay!"

"San Diego Comic Con and Dragoncon are going to pull their resources and merge into one event. But it was called off because no one was happy with the con fusion."

"My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."

"If you think my status updates are ridiculous, you should see my life choices."