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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? ....a fssshhh..."

"Bad News. Doctor: ""I have some bad news for you. You REALLY have to stop masturbating."" ""Oh my God doc, why, WHY?"" ""I am trying to examine you!"""

"Stranger: nice to meet you Me: give it time"

"What's a cow's favourite love song? When I fall in love it will be for heifer."

"Can a ninja kill you from 20ft away? Sure he can."

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"Girl: What do you like to do in your free time? Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really? I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know."

"To girls suffering from a case of too many friend requests: Here is a free tip Put some clothes on and post your real pictures without Photoshop or makeup. Problem solved!"

"David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea. Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter."

"If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon."